Eclectic Perceptions of a Scattered mind

A Metaphore of My Expression

2009-05-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

I express the way i feel through rhythm and beat,
not through the movement of my feet,
but through the tapping of my pen to paper
Not to the sound of a drum,
but the motion of my mind and legible rhyme
i express the way i feel through metaphorical bliss
and ways that seem expressionless
Not through psychological Analysis
but grammatical analogy.
I may not express myself through the stroke of a brush,
but my words to a page illuminate more of my thoughts
than florescent colors to a grey canvas.
I express the way i feel through silence,
and when that silence is broken
my words are brought to life like theatrical plays
I express the way i feel through imagery,
not false images
And when i express myself it's not just enough to quench your thirst,
but more than enough to saturate absorbent inquires.
I express myself loudly through unspoken words,
and though they are not verbalized
they are always heard

no more time for settling

2008-11-13T07:49:00.000-08:00

Lately i have been feeling really lazy! it's Just been those kind of times where u only do things that's convenient for u and nothing more... I find myself settling for the bare minimum because i dont wanna go hard for the best. It just seems so easy to settle for a 5 even though u really want a 10. My life is just so complex that i feel like i dont wanna push myself any harder than what i am right now....
I remember there was a time in my life where i tried to do my best at everything, and nothing less than perfection was ever good enough. I know i mentioned previously that i dislike school, but throughout my entire life I've been a straight A student.... PLEASE!!!, now if i get a C+ im like "good enough, im better off than the dummy sitting next to me." (not all facts i'd freak if i got a C). Even at my night job i stroll in like 10-15 minutes late every day, partially because i know that i used to do sooo good that they can't afford to fire me... but that well is beginning to run dry! Its so crazy because i find myself even settling when it comes to the people that i talk to... dont get me wrong i dont look down on anyone, BUT there are plenty of times i have had conversations with old friends and found myself wondering, why do i even waste my time... i was talking to an old friend from high school and he was telling me some usual drama, but i begin to think, "this is the same stuff he's been talking about since 2004" between girlfriends, homeboys, and fighting... im completely fed up! (BTW.. when are thugs gonna go out of style!). But again this is partially my fault because i've entertained this friendship for over 4yrs, so whose the real idiot...me or him? The worse part about it is, im not in denial, i know exactly what im doing so i have no other choice but to make a change.

Nothing But Free Time

2008-11-01T06:54:00.000-07:00

Ok so right now im on a mini vacation..... so why the hell am i blogging? good question.... im bored out of my mind! I feel like a loser whenever im just sitting in the house watching t.v, even if i am on vacation.

O, so i was sitting in the library at school and i found a book that caught my eye, "writing the natural way" (i think thats the name, i dont have the book with me). well, the book shows u how to open up ur mind and flow creatively, it also shows how to avoid writers block... God knows i need this book. Unfortunately i forgot the book at home, i really wish i had it at this point. when i read the first page i felt like the author was speaking directly to me, this book is like the writers bible. Now i just need one for spelling... LOL! its so weird because sometimes i have major vocab that i want to put on paper but i hate guessing when it comes to spelling... O ok and i feel like an idiot cause i just looked up at the buttons above and noticed a spell check icon... Good Job Mauritza!

So on a more FAB note... The "Single Ladies" Video!!!! Work it B!!!... i freak'n love Beyonce. This song makes me LOVE being single, sad but true..I'm dying inside cause i cant wait to go home and hit the gym. Beyonce's body is crazy tight... if i could b 6yrs old again i would say "i wanna be Beyonce when i grow up." Yea... and maybe i sound like a groupie, but home girl is all types of fly!

Anyway, i think im gonna write a whole lot of stuff today... being that there"s nothing but open opportunity!

Art of the mind

2008-10-21T10:17:00.000-07:00

If my mind was displayed in color it would like water based paints applied to cray paper, no barriers, just thought after thought trickling into each other. So many possible images with no means of seperation. But unlike water paints on cray these images never permeate into another and create one color, Black. Always eclectic never dull!

My ride home

2008-10-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a very exhausting day for me. I started my day off at the DMV, which everyone knows is torture, went to work, and then drove for about 1.5 hrs to get my hair done...which normally the drive shouldnt take that long, but i went during rush hour traffic. Well, to make a long story short my hair came out FABULOUS (after 4hrs)!!! i went to bed around 2am and woke up at 8:30, which really isnt bad, but i had a long drive ahead of me to school.

i had the Craziest experience on the way to school. Normally me without sleep is like Paris Hilton without her sunglasses (corny analogy but, i Luvs me some Paris), Cranky with all types of attitude...But this morning things were sooo different i was in such a fantastic mood when i woke up, and ready to start my day (maybe because i knew i looked like a million dollars, but thats beside the point). On the way home i was dying to listen to "good" music, now "GOOD" music Varies from person to person, so i took it back to John Legend's "Gift Lifted"... which is still my favorite album ever. So i'm in my car, got the heat blasting and a long ride to school, and all of a sudden i feel so at peace.... the next song comes on called "when its cold outside" (i think thats the name #12) and i began to start crying for no reason... i was at a place where i felt such tranquility,but i could not stop crying. i was just soo overwhelmed and emotional (This hardly ever happens to me). Actually if this happens again i think i'd be concerned. For me most of my emotional states take place inside my car... if i could be any place in the world it would be in my car because thats where i have the most control. i could drive for hours and be sooo happy.
so know when i want to write or be relaxed i sit in my car, wether im on break at work, in front of my house, etc.. and i could stay there for hours because this is where i find tranquility.

Truth

2008-10-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

If He had only asked me, “what would u do if u had your way?”
I would've probably answered….
If I had my way I’d make u my King and gladly be your servant,
Or better yet I’d make me your girl, and never again would u fear an ounce of rejection.
If I were your girl you’d be my Dre and I your Sidney,
We’d make history like hip-hop,
With hearts that melt like “Brown Sugar”
If things were my way our chemistry would compose creative collaborations like that of JayZ and Coldplay.
If I had my way I’d be your genie, and all your wishes would be at my disposal,
Your what if’s would be changed to what is, and my support would be continuous like New Yorkers to the Giants.
Together we’d wash away all past pain and replace them with future pleasures,
See, if it were my way we’d live life like lyrics of “Golden” and you’d be my “Joy”.
Truth is if I were really asked this question…. and I had it my way, I’d probably use that one pass.

(ok expressions like the one above are totally not my style... only when im in rare form)
So one of my favorite things that i love to do is play this game called truth. i play with almost all of my friends, i started first playing with my roommate (well before we were roommates) and originally i would find every reason in the world why the game was sooo stupid, but in actuality the game wasn't stupid, it was just me and my feelings toward expression. Dont get me wrong, i have nothing to hide, actually i have the opposite problem. Most of the time i say waaaaayyy to much and it often gets me into a lot of trouble. My little brother recently started this thing where he calls himself cathching me before i "cross the line". usually it never works, and i find myself explaining myself to someone who got offended. But anyway, recently i've been trying to sensor my thoughts cause i feel like if u constantly lay yourself out on the table you'll get up with major regrets.... and in this case u have the Pass rule! if ever u play the truth game make sure u save a pass, which allows u to skip any question thrown your way, this pass could save a friendship, your pride, your reputation etc.... trust me! everyone starts off saying no matter what is said in this game there's not hard feelings... LIES... all LIES... actually, almost every time there's hard feelings, cause u always have that one friend that has been fiending to catch u in a lie or tell all your business soon as they leave the room... People the pass is essential!!! scope your homies out... if u have that one person that's way too thirsty to hear your response... slap um wit a pass... if they were ur true friend anyway, u wouldn't have to use a game as a gateway to tell them u madeout with their Ex boyfriend. lol

Batter Up!

2008-10-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

where do i start, well today is my first time doing this so i guess i should start by introducing myself.. hey I'm Mauritza AKA Ritzy. No im not spanish, i have no idea where my mom came up with this name. Im 22 and i go to school and work like CR@ZY. I would classify myself as being very intelligent, but i really dislike school (everything i know is because of me and Google).... its not the learning aspect of it, it more of the quiet, sitting down, paying attention part that makes me crazy. To be honest if i could stay at home and watch reality tv and get paid i think i would sign myself up. Ok well maybe im lazy... NOT!! I'm just real.

this whole hating school thing got so frustrating that There was a point in time when i would tell my mom that i was gonna dropout of school and make t-shirts, (like it was some kinda punishment for her). My mom said to me, "Mauritza i dont care, if u really wanna make t-shirts and feel good about yourself then do it." i was so freak'n pissed, i start screaming and stomping, "i dont even wear t-shirts (i own like a million) im always cold, i just wanted to c if u care about me and u dont!". Wwwweeeeellllll, My mom laughed in my face, and the following day i took my ass to school... wearing a t-shirt!